I told this story once in public and a man asked me afterwards：“What did you want to get out of him？”
What was I trying to get out of him！！！What was I trying to getout of him！！！If we are so contemptibly selfish that we can’t radiate a little happiness and pass on a bit of honest appreciation without trying to get something out of the other person in return—if our souls are no bigger than sour crab apples，we shall meet with the failure we so richly deserve.Oh yes，I did want something out of that chap.I wanted something priceless.And I got it.I got the feeling that I had done something for him without his being able to do anything whatever in return for me.That is a feeling that flows and sings in your memory lung after the incident is past.
There is one all-important law of human conduct.If we obey that law，we shall almost never get into trouble.In fact，that law，if obeyed，will bring us countless friends and constant happiness.But the very instant we break the law，we shall get into endless trouble.The law is this：Always make the other person feel important.John Dewey，as we have already noted，said that the desire to be important is the deepest urge in human nature；and William James said：“The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”As I have already pointed out，it is this urge that differentiates us from the animals.It is this urge that has been responsible for civilization itself.
Philosophers have been speculating on the rules of human relationships for thousands of years，and out of all that speculation，there has evolved only one important precept.It is not new.It is as old as history.Zoroaster taught it to his followers in Persia twenty-five hundred years ago.Confucius preached it in China twenty-four centuries ago.Lao-tse，the founder of Taoism，taught it to his disciples in the Valley of the Han.Buddha preached it on the bank of the Holy Ganges five hundred years before Christ.The sacred books of Hinduism taught it a thousand years before that.Jesus taught it among the stony hills of Judea nineteen centuries ago.Jesus summed it up in one thought—probably the mostimportant rule in the world：“Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”
You want the approval of those with whom you come in contact.You want recognition of your true worth.You want a feeling that you are important in your little world.You don’t want to listen to cheap，insincere flattery，but you do crave sincere appreciation.You want your friends and associates to be，as Charles Schwab put it，“hearty in their approbation and lavish in their praise.”All of us want that.
So let’s obey the Golden Rule，and give unto others what we would have others give unto us.How？When？Where？The answer is：All the time，everywhere.
If，for example，the waitress brings us mashed potatoes when we have ordered French fried，let’s say：“I’m sorry to trouble you，but I prefer French fried.”She’ll probably reply，“No trouble at all”and will be glad to change the potatoes，because we have shown respect for her.
Little phrases such as “I’m sorry to trouble you，”“Would you be so kind as to—？”“Won’t you please？”“Would you mind？”“Thank you”—little courtesies like these oil the cogs of the monotonous grind of everyday life—and，incidentally，they are the hallmark of good breeding.