“As he was leaving，he turned to me and asked，‘What decorating can I do for you？’
“If I had tried to get the rent reduced by the methods the other tenants were using，I am positive I should have met with the same failure they encountered.It was the friendly，sympathetic，appreciative approach that won.”
Years ago，when I was a barefoot boy walking through the woods to a country school out in northwest Missouri，I read a fable about the sun and the wind.They quarreled about which was the stronger，and the wind said，“I’ll prove I am.See the old man down there with a coat？I bet I can get his coat off him quicker than you can.”
So the sun went behind a cloud，and the wind blew until it was almost a tornado，but the harder it blew，the tighter the old man clutched his coat to him.
Finally，the wind calmed down and gave up，and then the sun came out from behind the clouds and smiled kindly on the old man.Presently，he mopped his brow and pulled off his coat.The sun then told the wind that gentleness and friendliness were always stronger than fury and force.
Aesop was a Greek slave who lived at the court of Croesus and spun immortal fables six hundred years before Christ.Yet the truths he taught about human nature are just as true in Boston and Birmingham now as they were twenty-six centuries ago in Athens.The sun can make you take off your coat more quickly than the wind；and kindliness，the friendly approach and appreciation can make people change their minds more readily than all the bluster and storming in the world.
Remember what Lincoln said：“A drop of honey catches moreflies than a gallon of gall.”
PRINCIPLE 4：
Begin in a friendly way.
Chapter 14
The Secret of Socrates
In talking with people，don’t begin by discussing the things on which you differ.Begin by emphasizing—and keep on emphasizing—the things on which you agree.Keep emphasizing，if possible，that you are both striving for the same end and that your only difference is one of method and not of purpose.
Get the other person saying “Yes，yes”at the outset.Keep your opponent，if possible，from saying “No.”
A “No”response，according to Professor Overstreet，is a most difficult handicap to overcome.When you have said “No，”all your pride of personality demands that you remain consistent with yourself.You may later feel that the “No”was ill-advised；nevertheless，there is your precious pride to consider！Once having said a thing，you feel you must stick to it.Hence it is of the very greatest importance that a person be started in the affirmative direction.
The skillful speaker gets，at the outset，a number of “Yes”responses.This sets the psychological process of the listeners moving in the affirmative direction.It is like the movement of a billiard ball.Propel in one direction，and it takes some force to deflect it；far more force to send it back in the opposite direction.
It is a very simple technique—this yes response.And yet，how much it is neglected！It often seems as if people get a sense of their own importance by antagonizing others at the outset.
Get a student to say “No”at the beginning，or a customer，child，husband，or wife，and it takes the wisdom and the patienceof angels to transform that bristling negative into an affirmative.The use of this “yes，yes”technique enabled James Eberson，who was a teller in the Greenwich Savings Bank，in New York City，to secure a prospective customer who might otherwise have been lost.
“This man came in to open an account，”said Mr.Eberson，“and I gave him our usual form to fill out.Some of the questions he answered willingly，but there were others he flatly refused to answer.
“Before I began the study of human relations，I would have told this prospective depositor that if he refused to give the bank this information，we should have to refuse to accept this account.
“I resolved this morning to use a little horse sense.I resolved not to talk about what the bank wanted but about what the customer wanted.And above all else，I was determined to get him saying ‘yes，yes’from the very start.So I agreed with him.I told him the information he refused to give was not absolutely necessary.
“‘However，’I said，‘suppose you have money in this bank at your death.Wouldn’t you like to have the bank transfer it to your next of kin，who is entitled to it according to law？’
“‘Yes，of course，’he replied.
“‘don’t you think，’I continued，‘that it would be a good idea to give us the name of your next of kin so that，in the event of your death，we could carry out your wishes without error or delay？’
“Again he said，‘Yes.’
“The young man’s attitude softened and changed when he realized that we weren’t asking for this information for our sake but for his sake.Before leaving the bank，this young man not only gave me complete information about himself but he opened，at my suggestion，a trust account，naming his mother as thebeneficiary for his account，and he had gladly answered all the questions concerning his mother also.
“I found that by getting him to say ‘yes，yes’from the outset，he forgot the issue at stake and was happy to do all the things I suggested.”
Joseph Allison，a sales representative for Westinghouse Electric Company，had this story to tell：“There was a man in my territory that our company was most eager to sell to.My predecessor had called on him for ten years without selling anything When I took over the territory，I called steadily for three years without getting an order.Finally，after thirteen years of calls and sales talk，we sold him a few motors.If these proved to be all right，an order for several hundred more would follow.Such was my expectation.
“Right？I knew they would be all right.So when I called three weeks later，I was in high spirits.
“The chief engineer greeted me with this shocking announcement：‘Allison，I can’t buy the remainder of the motors from you.’
“‘Why？’I asked in amazement.‘Why？’
“‘Because your motors are too hot.I can’t put my hand on them，’