“I knew it wouldn’t do any good to argue.I had tried that sort of thing too long.So I thought of getting the ‘yes，yes’response.
“‘Well，now look，Mr.Smith，’I said.‘I agree with you a hundred percent；if those motors are running too hot，you ought not to buy any more of them.You must have motors that won’t run any hotter than standards set by the National Electrical Manufacturers Association.Isn’t that so？’
“He agreed it was.I had gotten my first ‘yes.’
“‘the Electrical Manufacturers Association regulations say that a properly designed motor may have a temperature of 72degrees Fahrenheit above room temperature.Is that correct？’
“‘Yes，’he agreed.‘that’s quite correct.But your motors are much hotter.’
“I didn’t argue with him.I merely asked：‘How hot is the mill room？’
“‘Oh，’he said，‘about 75degrees Fahrenheit.’
“‘Well，’I replied，‘if the mill room is 75degrees and you add 72to that，that makes a total of 147degrees Fahrenheit.Wouldn’t you scald your hand if you held it under a spigot of hot water at a temperature of 147degrees Fahrenheit？’
“Again he had to say ‘yes.’
“‘Well，’I suggested，‘wouldn’t it he a good idea to keep your hands off those motors？’
“‘Well，I guess you’re right，’he admitted.We continued to chat for a while.Then he called his secretary and lined up approximately？35，000worth of business for the ensuing month.
Eddie Snow，who sponsors our courses in Oakland，California，tells how he became a good customer of a shop because the proprietor got him to say “yes，yes.”Eddie had become interested in bow hunting and had spent considerable money in purchasing equipment and supplies from a local bow store.When his brother was visiting him he wanted to rent a bow for him from this store.The sales clerk told him they didn’t rent bows，so Eddie phoned another bow store.Eddie described what happened：
“A very pleasant gentleman answered the phone.His response to my question for a rental was completely different from the other place.He said he was sorry but they no longer rented bows because they couldn’t afford to do so.He then asked me if I had rented before.I replied，‘Yes，several years ago.’He reminded me that I probably paid？25to？30for the rental.I said ‘yes’again.He then asked if I was the kind of person who liked to save money.Naturally，I answered ‘yes.’He went on to explain that they had bowsets with all the necessary equipment on sale for？34.95.I could buy a complete set for only？4.95more than I could rent one.He explained that is why they had discontinued renting them.Did I think that was reasonable？My ‘yes’response led to a purchase of the set，and when I picked it up I purchased several more items at this shop and have since become a regular customer.”
Socrates，“the gadfly of Athens，”was one of the greatest philosophers the world has ever known.He did something that only a handful of men in all history have been able to do：he sharply changed the whole course of human thought；and now，twenty-four centuries after his death，he is honored as one of the wisest persuaders who ever influenced this wrangling world.
His method？Did he tell people they were wrong？Oh，no，not Socrates.He was far too adroit for that.His whole technique，now called the “Socratic method，”was based upon getting a “yes，yes”response.He asked questions with which his opponent would have to agree.He kept on winning one admission after another until he had an armful of yeses.He kept on asking questions until finally，almost without realizing it，his opponents found themselves embracing a conclusion they would have bitterly denied a few minutes previously.
The next time we are tempted to tell someone he or she is wrong，let’s remember old Socrates and ask a gentle question—a question that will get the “yes，yes”response.The Chinese have a proverb pregnant with the age-old wisdom of the Orient：“He who treads softly goes far.”
PRINCIPLE 5：
Get the other person saying “yes，yes”immediately.
Chapter 15
The Safety Valve in Handling Complaints
Must people trying to win others to their way of thinking do too much talking themselves.Let the other people talk themselves out.They know more about their business and problems than you do.So ask them questions.Let them tell you a few things.
If you disagree with them you may be tempted to interrupt.But don’t.It is dangerous.They won’t pay attention to you while they still have a lot of ideas of their own crying for expression.So listen patiently and with an open mind.Be sincere about it.Encourage them to express their ideas fully.
Does this policy pay in business？Let’s see.Here is the story of a sales representative who was forced to try it.
One of the largest automobile manufacturers in the United States was negotiating for a year’s requirements of upholstery fabrics.Three important manufacturers had worked up fabrics in sample bodies.These had all been inspected by the executives of the motor company，and notice had been sent to each manufacturer saying that，on a certain day，a representative from each supplier would be given an opportunity to make a final plea for the contract.
G.B.R.，a representative of one manufacturer，arrived in town with a severe attack of laryngitis.“When it came my turn to meet the executives in conference，”Mr.R—said as he related the story before one of my classes，“I had lost my voice.I could hardly whisper.I was ushered into a room and found myself face to face with the textile engineer，the purchasing agent，the directorof sales and the president of the company.I stood up and made a valiant effort to speak，but I couldn’t do anything more than squeak.
“They were all seated around a table，so I wrote on a pad of paper：‘Gentlemen，I have lost my voice.I am speechless.’