“‘Its all right， Andy，’ says I， ‘to drink the health of our brother monopolistsmonopolist n.专利者， but dont overdo the wassail. You know our most eminent and loathed multicorruptionists live on weak tea and dog biscuits.’
“‘安迪，’我说，‘为我们的垄断业同行的健康干杯，固然没有什么不好，但是饮酒不宜过度。你总知道，我们最出名、最讨厌的亿万富翁都是靠清茶和狗饼干过日子的。’
“Andy went in the back room awhile and came out dressed in his best clothes. There was a kind of murderousmurderous adj.杀人的， 造成死亡的， <口>非常危险的(或困难，难受)的 and soulful look of gentle riotousness in his eye that I didnt like. I watched him to see what turn the whiskey was going to take in him. There are two times when you never can tell what is going to happen. One is when a man takes his first drink； and the other is when a woman takes her latest.
“安迪到后房去了一会儿，出来时已换上他最好的衣服。在他那双温和而骚乱的眼睛里，有一种穷凶极恶而又深情热烈的神情，叫我看了很不自在。我密切注视着，看他肚子里的威士忌会起什么作用。在两种情况下，你是无法预计后果的。一是男人喝了第一杯酒，二是女人喝了最后一杯。
“In less than an hour Andys skate had turned to an ice yacht. He was outwardly decent and managed to preservepreserve vt.保护， 保持， 保存， 保藏 vi.做蜜饯， 禁猎 n.蜜饯， 果酱， 禁猎地， 禁区， 防护物 his aquarium， but inside he was impromptuimpromptu n.即席演出， 即兴曲 adj.即席的 adv.即席地，未经准备地 and full of unexpectedness.
“不出一小时，安迪的微醉变成了酩酊大醉。他外表仍旧很庄重，还能保持平静，但是内心却充满了意想不到的东西，一触即发。
“‘Jeff，’ says he， ‘do you know that Im a crater—a living crater？’
“‘杰夫，’他说，‘你可知道我是山口——活山口？’
“‘Thats a selfevident hypothesishypothesis n.假设.’ says I. ‘But youre not Irish. Why dont you say “creature”，according to the rules and syntaxsyntax n.［语］语法， 有秩序的排列， 句子构造， 句法 of America？’
“‘那原是一个不说自明的假设。’我说。‘但你又不是爱尔兰人。你为什么不按照美国的语法规则和修辞说“人口”呢？’
“‘Im the crater of a volcano.’ says he. ‘Im all aflame and crammed inside with an assortmentassortment n.分类 of words and phrases that have got to have an exodus. I can feel millions of synonymssynonym n.同义字 and parts of speech rising in me，’ says he， ‘and Ive got to make a speech of some sort. Drink，’says Andy，‘always drives me to oratory.’
“‘我是一个火山的山口。’他说。‘我浑身火辣辣的，肚子里填满了各式各样的字句、非找一个出口不可。我觉得千千万万的同义字和词类在我身体里翻腾，’他说，‘我非发表一次演说不可。喝了酒之后，’安迪说，‘我总是有要演说的倾向。’
“‘It could do no worse.’ says I.
“‘那可不妙。’我说。
“‘From my earliest recollectionsrecollection n.回忆， 记忆， 回想，’ says he， ‘alcohol seemed to stimulate my sense of recitation and rhetoric. Why， in Bryans second campaign，’ says Andy， ‘they used to give me three gin rickeysrickey n.<美> 杜松子酒和柠檬汁、汽水的混合饮料 and Id speak two hours longer than Billy himself could on the silver question. Finally， they persuaded me to take the gold cure.’
“‘据我记忆所及，’他说，‘酒精仿佛能激励我的朗诵和修辞意识。可不是嘛，布赖恩第二改竞选的时候，’安迪说，‘他们总是给我唱三杯杜松子酒汽水。在银本位的问题上，我比比利本人还能多讲两小时。不过最后人家让我相信还是金本位好。’
“‘If youve got to get rid of your excess verbiageverbiage n.空话，’ says I， ‘why not go out on the river bank and speak a piece？ It seems to me there was an old spellbinder named Cantharides that used to go and disincorporatedisincorporate vt.解散法人组织 himself of his windy numbers along the seashore.’
“‘既然你非把过剩的话发泄出来不可，’我说，‘你干吗不到河岸上去说一通呢？我记得好像有个名叫坎塔里德斯的老演说家，时常跑到海边上去发泄饱肚子里的废气。’
“‘No，’ says Andy， ‘I must have an audience. I feel like if I once turned loose people would begin to call Senator Beveridge the Grand Young Sphinx of the Wabash. Ive got to get an audience together， Jeff， and get this oral distensiondistension n.膨胀， 延伸 assuaged or it may turn in on me and Id go about feeling like a deckleedge edition de luxe of Mrs. E. D. E. N. Southworth.’
“‘不行，’安迪说，‘我非得有听众不可。我觉得，如果我滔滔不绝地讲起来，人们就会把贝弗里奇参议员称作沃巴什的伟大的小斯芬克斯石像。我一定要召集一批听众，杰夫，让我这个话语膨胀病松和一下，不然它会往里发展，害得我觉得自己像是索思沃思夫人的毛边精装本。’
“On what special subject of the theoremstheorem n.［数］定理， 法则 and topics does your desire for vocalityvocality n.声乐， 声音 seem to be connected with？”I asks.
“你想做的演讲是不是牵涉到某些特殊的定理和主题？”我问道。