Upsets seem to be caused by what happens but they’ re not. Upsets are caused by your fighting and resisting what happens. To see this in your life, select a recent upset, Now notice what would happen if somehow you were at peace with what happened. There would be no upset.
There would be no upset because upsets aren’ t caused by what happened. Upsets are caused by fighting and resisting what happened. The moment you take away the fighting and resisting, the upset disappears.
To live the experience of love, and to create a life that works, you need to stop the fighting and resisting. You do this through a process called letting go.
Letting go is the inner action that releases the fear and upset. The moment you let go, everything seems to change. With the fear and upset gone, you see your situation very differently. You become creative and discover solutions that you could never have seen before.
To let go, you need to do the opposite of fighting and resisting. You need to let go of your demands and expectations for how life should be and make peace with the way life is.
Find what you are resisting. Then give it full permission to be there, If you have a fear of losing a relationship, be willing to be it. If you are resisting the way someone is, then give the person full permission to be that way.
Be willing for anything. Set yourself free inside. Then take whatever action you need to have your life be great.
Keep in mind that letting go is a state of mind and has nothing to do with your actions. Letting go is the process that removes the fear and upset so you can see what action you need to take.
In your heart, you can be willing to lose someone, but in your actions, do everything you can to make sure the person feels so loved that he or she would never want to leave.
To make letting go a little easier, there are several steps you can take. The first is trusting. Trust that no matter what happens, you will be okay. When you know that you will be okay, letting go becomes relatively easy.
Trusting is also telling the truth. You really will be okay no matter what happens. Life is only threatening when you resist. So stop resisting and trust. Trust that no matter what happens, you will be okay.
The second step in the process of letting go is to be willing to feel your hurt. Be willing to feel all the hurt and the feelings of being not okay that your circumstances reactivate. Be willing to feel the hurt of being worthless or not “good enough”.
The avoidance of this hurt is what makes you resist. Once you are willing to feel this hurt, the need to resist disappears. You can then let go.
For example, Robert had a fear of losing his wife Jan. To make sure she didn’ t leave, he hung on to her. His hanging on then pushed her further and further away. Robert was afraid of losing Jan because if she left him, this would reactivate all his hurt of feeling not worth loving. To avoid this hurt, he hung on.
Once he was willing to feel his hurt, the loss of Jan ceased to be a treat. He no longer needed to hang on and became willing for her to leave. The moment this happened he changed the way he related to her. Instead of needing Jan, he started treasuring her. Jan then felt so loved and able to be herself, she didn’ t want to leave.
This is what happens in life. The more you are able to let go and flow with life, the more life takes care of itself. You may not always get what you want, but you can always be free inside. You can restore both your peace of mind and your effectiveness. You can create a life that works.
爱的体验是一种心理状态。沉浸在爱里，你会感到幸福快乐、生气勃勃、自由自在。自我感觉良好，生活就会非常美好。当你把这种爱的体验带进生活时，生活就会变得轻松自如，充满喜悦。
爱的反面是恐惧和不安。处于这种状态时，你会深深地陷入绝望，失去创造力和洞察事物的能力；你的视野会变得狭窄，处世方式也会受到影响，这些使你的处境变得更糟。
不论你是沉浸在爱里还是陷入到烦恼中，一切并非取决于你的环境，而在于你面对环境的态度。有一个很好的解决方法：正视你的烦恼。
烦恼看似因某些事而起，其实不然，它源于你对既成事实的对抗和抵触。为了证实这点，挑一件你生活中最近的烦恼来看看。现在，试想你能坦然面对发生的一切，看看结果会如何？烦恼不存在了。
某些事情的发生并不能引起烦恼，导致烦恼的是人们对事实的反抗和抵触。当你不再反抗和抵触时，烦恼也就消失了。
为了生活在爱的海洋里，为了创造高效的生活，你应该停止这种反抗和抵触。你经历的这个过程就叫做：放手。
放手是一种心理活动，它能驱散恐惧和烦恼。从放手的那一刻起，一切看起来似乎已经改变了，恐惧和烦恼不复存在，你的处境也将截然不同。你变得富于创造力，并能够找到意想不到的解决方法。
放手吧，你需要走到对抗和抵触的彼岸，你需要忘记对生活的渴求和期望，平静地对待生活。
找到你抵触的原因吧！然后接受它的存在。如果你害怕失去某种关系，那就作好心理准备；如果你抵制某人的行为方式，那就在心里允许放任它。
心甘情愿地去接受任何事，从内心深处解放自己。然后，采取一切行动，使你的生活变得美好幸福吧。
记住，放手是一种内心状态，与你的行为没有任何关系；放手是一个驱散恐惧和不安的过程，它让你看清自己喜欢怎样的行为方式。
在内心深处，你可以失去某人，但在行为上，你所做的一切，都要让对方感受到爱，让他或她永远不想离开你。
要想轻松地放手，可以采取以下几个步骤。首先是相信，相信无论发生什么事，你都会很好。当你知道自己会安然无恙时，放手就会相对轻松了。
相信也就是说出真相，不论发生什么，你真的不会有事。当你抵触的时候，生活才会充满威胁。所以，停止反抗，去相信吧，相信即使天塌了下来，也有人撑着。
放手的第二个步骤是欣然接受伤痛，乐意去感受痛苦，去体验生活中的失望，体会自认为毫无价值或不尽如人意的伤害。
逃避这些伤害就是你抵触的根源，而你一旦愿意去体会这种痛楚，抵触就消失了，你可以放宽心怀了。
比如说，罗伯特害怕失去妻子简。为了确保她不离开，他牢牢地控制她，却让她与自己越来越疏远。罗伯特害怕失去简，如果她离开了他，他会觉得自己不值得爱。为了逃避这种伤害，他一再纠缠。
一旦他准备欣然接受这种伤害，害怕失去简的感觉已不在了，他不再需要纠缠，准备接受她的离去。此时此刻，他们之间的关系已经发生了变化，他不再需要简，而是开始信任她。简感受到他的痴情，又恢复了身心自由，也就不想离开了。
这就是生活，你越能坦然接受一切，顺其自然，它就越轻松自在。你不可能事事顺通，但你的内心能潇洒自如。你恢复了内心的宁静，变得更加理智，你就能创造更加美好的生活。
心灵小语
爱，是抓不住的。当你能做到放手时，就会发现，爱，就在你的心间。
记忆填空
1. The opposite of____is fear and upset.____this is present, you lose down inside. You____your creativity and your ability to see clearly. You get tunnel vision and you interact in a way that almost always makes your situation____ .
2.____you know that you will be okay, letting go becomes relatively easy.Trusting is also telling the____ . You really will be okay no matter what____ . Life is____ threatening when you resist.
佳句翻译
1. 当你把这种爱的体验带进生活时，生活就会变得轻松自如，充满喜悦。
译__________________________
2. 某些事情的发生并不能引起烦恼，导致烦恼的是人们对事实的反抗和抵触。
译__________________________
3. 你不可能事事顺通，但你的内心能潇洒自如。
译__________________________
短语应用
1. The moment you take away the fighting and resisting, the upset disappears.
take away：拿走；减去
造________________________
2. To make sure she didn’t leave, he hung on to her.
make sure：务必；查明；确保，确定
造________________________
灵魂的限度
The Story of Life
佚名 / Anonymous