We learned from each other. But I do not mean to give you the idea that talk is all it takes to be a good parent or stepparent. Parenting occurs on a constantlyconstantly adv.不变地， 经常地， 坚持不懈地 changing field.
Children who are angels one day may be monstersmonster n.怪物， 妖怪 the next day. They can exercise judgement and show a wisdom that affirms all the teaching and talking and discipline， and the next day throw a snowball through the church window or carve their name in an antiqueantique n.古物， 古董adj.古时的， 过时的 .
Fortunately it was never my goal to supplant their real father in their affection. They always called me Dan and were sweet to me， but there was a gap that would not close； they were just a bit reluctant to engage inengage in v.使从事于， 参加 things with only me.
我们互相学习。但我并非指只要交谈就能当好父母或继父继母。为人父母是处于一个不断变化的环境中。
孩子们今天像天使，明天就可能变成小捣蛋；今天他们能够理性判断，显示出聪明的方面，这些肯定我们所教的、说的、管的起了作用，明天他们就会用雪球砸破教堂的窗户，或在古董上刻自己的名字。
值得庆幸的是，成立新家后，我从来没有想过要取代孩子们生父的爱。他们总是叫我的名字“丹”，对我也很亲热，最初有隔阂所以没有接近，他们有点不愿意单独和我一起做事。
One day after a couple of months since we live together， the kids and I were riding our bicycles around the neighborhood. David started to fuss about being tired， then hungry， then bored， and Jane provokedprovoke vt.激怒， 挑拨， 煽动， 惹起， 驱使 him by assuming an air of maternalmaternal adj.母亲的， 似母亲的， 母性的 superioritysuperiority n.优越， 高傲 . An argument broke out， and for the first time I spoke to them sternlysternly adv.严厉地， 苛刻地， 坚决地 .
“Listen，” I said， “you dont have to think of me as your father—Im not interested in replacing him. But I am married to your mother. I know you didnt have any choice in this matter， but here we are， living together. As an adult I have a responsibility to look out for your wellbeing， which includes sharings some fun together. So Im probably going to act like a parent until youre grown up. We might as well find ways to get along. So， right now， what do you want to do： go home or ride your bikes？”
我们一起生活几个月之后的一天，孩子们和我在离家不远的地方骑自行车，儿子戴维吵吵闹闹，喊累又叫饿，然后又嚷着无聊，而女儿珍妮则装出一副母性似的高傲模样逗戴维，于是，一场争论爆发了，我第一次对他们严厉说话。
“听着，”我说道，“你们可以不把我当作父亲——对于取代他我不感兴趣。但是我和你们的母亲结婚了，我知道你们在这件事上没有选择的余地。可是，我们生活在一起了。作为长辈，我有责任照顾你们，让你们生活得幸福安康，其中也包括一起玩。所以，在你们长大之前，我就应该像父亲那样行事，直到你们长大，我们还是找个和睦共处的方法。因此，你们现在想怎么办？是回家还是骑自行车？”
They both chose to ride on， and we had a great time that afternoon. I think they were relievedrelieved adj.放心的 to hear me say that I was not trying to replace their real father.
I dont think either of them ever questioned my love for them. I always told them that I loved them， but it was perhaps even more important that I talked to them， listened to them， respected them and made no special demands on their loyalty loyalty n.忠诚， 忠心 .
Yet this analysis is so glib glib adj.口齿伶俐的， 油腔滑调的 ， so incomplete. The truth is more complicated. Of course our sanesane adj.健全的 resolve to avoid the horrorshorror n.惊骇， 恐怖， 惨事， 极端厌恶 of some divorces and some stepfamilies was essential.
他们都选择继续骑车。那天下午，我们玩得很开心。我想他们听到我无意取代他们的生父，就放心了。
我觉得他们中没有人对我给他们的爱怀疑过。我总对他们说我爱他们，但更重要的是我与他们谈心，倾听他们的心声，尊重他们，也不对他们提出特别要求来尊重我的“权威”。
然而这种分析是很肤浅很片面，事实更为复杂。当然为了避免某些离婚和再婚家庭的麻烦，我们的理智果断是不可或缺的。
But lets be honest： luck was also on our side. Health has never been a problem， and my stepchildren have known a host of older relatives.
Their real father and stepmother are both college professors with doctorates doctorate n.博士头衔 . My wife， with an MA， has been a school administrator for over twenty years.
Reading， writing， analyzing， problemsolving and philosophizing have always been part of my childrens daily life.
And my stepchildren were encouraged to dream， and taught that their dreams could come true. They were encouraged to work hard， and told by their society that their hard work would lead to a good life.
They have expected a good life. But any child from any country would turn out well with such abundant abundant adj.丰富的， 充裕的 good fortune.
但说实话，幸运也站在了我们的一边。我们没有遇到过健康问题，并且两个孩子认识了一群长辈。
他们的生父和继母都是有博士学位的大学教授，我的妻子是文学硕士，在一所学校已当了二十多年主管。
阅读、写作、分析、解决问题以及进行理性探讨，已成为孩子们日常生活中的一部分。
两个孩子有着梦想的鼓励，他们得知梦想能够成真；他们受到鼓励努力学习，社会告诉他们努力工作就会获得美好的生活。
他们已预期到美好的生活。但任何国家的孩子，有这样的运气也会健康成长。
I have always thought that being a parent had little to do with biological connections. For one thing， there are so many bad parents who are biological parents. And history is full of nurturing adultchild relationships that have nothing to do with blood. As for the perpetuation of a name， what is one Warthman or Wang more or less in the world？
My stepchildren will perpetuate perpetuate vt.使永存， 使不朽 whatever they think is important—things from me， their mother， their father， their stepmother， their teachers， their friends.
What makes me happy is that they are independent thinkers， insightful and perceptive， clearheaded； that they are kind； that they care about the world and its people. I am honored to be a part of their lives， to be able to claim them as my family.
我总在想，父母与血统上的关系没有太大联系。比如，有很多品德败坏的亲生父母，而历史上又有很多没有任何血缘但却养育别人孩子的父母。至于所谓的传宗接代，世界上多一个少一个姓我的姓或是姓王姓张的又有什么关系？
我的孩子们心中永存着他们认为重要的东西——来自我这里，来自他们的妈妈那里，来自他们的生父那里，来自继母那里，来自老师那里，来自朋友那里。
让我感到高兴的是，他们能独立思考，富有远见，观察敏锐，头脑清晰，本性善良，关心世界和各国人民。我为自己成为他们生命中的一部分、又为他们是我家庭中的成员而感到无比光荣。
正如文中所讲：作为父母，血统上的关系作用很小。这个有着复杂背景的家庭之所以能够成功，关键在于继父对子女的平等态度和正确引导，倾听孩子心声，平心静气地交谈。父亲的爱深如大海，它是深沉而内敛的。在这种爱的包容下，孩子怎能不健康成长呢？