A Hasty Interruption
The finefurniture store where I work has been in business since the 1920s.Recently I received a call from a woman who wanted to replace some chairs from a dining set purchased from us in the 1930s.I assured her we could help and sought the assistance of the office manager. “You，ll never believe this one， ” I told him.“ I just got a call from a customer who bought some chairs from us in the 1930s. ”
Before I could finish repeating her request， he interrupted and said， “Don，t tell me she hasn，t received them yet！”
Notes：
(1) replace v.更换；替换
(2) purchase v.购买
(3) assure v.有信心地说
(4) seek v.寻求
(5) assistance n.帮助
匆忙的打断
我所工作的精品商店是从二十年代以来就营业的。最近我接到一个妇女的电话。她想换一套餐具中的一些椅子。这套餐具她是在三十年代从我们这儿买的。我向她保证说我们可以帮忙并向部门经理提了出来。“你永远也不会相信，”我对他说，“我刚接到一个顾客的电话，她在三十年代从我们这里买了一些椅子。”
我还没来得及说她的要求，经理就打断了我的话：“不要告诉我她到现在还没收到货！”
A Holiday from School
Tommy hated school and was always looking for excuses not to go.
If he sneezed， he asked his mother to write a note saying he had a cold.
If he had a headache， he asked his mother to take him to the doctor during school hours.
He spent more time at home than he did at school.
On the days that he did go to school， he looked for excuses to come home early.
One morning he came home when the lessons were only half finished.
His father was surprised.
“You，ve come home early，”he said. “Is the school closed today？”
“No， Dad， ” Tommy said，“It，s open. I came home early. ”
“How did you do that？” his father asked him. “What did you say to the teacher？”
“I told her that I had a new baby brother and that I had to come home and help you. ”
“But your mother has had twins，” his father said， “a boy and a girl. You，ve got a baby brother and a baby sister.”
“Yes， I know， Dad， ” Tommy said. “I，m saving up my baby sister for next week ”
Notes：
(1) sneeze v.打喷嚏
(2) twins n.双胞胎
(3) save up留着
休假
汤姆讨厌上学，总是找借口不去上学。
如果他打喷嚏，他就叫他妈妈写个纸条说他感冒了。
如果他头痛，他就叫他妈妈在上课时间带他去看病。
他呆在家里的时间比在学校的时间要多。
在他的确去上学的日子里，他就找借口早点回家。
一天早上他上了一半课就从学校回来了。
他爸爸很惊讶。
“你回来很早，”他爸爸问，“今天学校放学了吗？”
“没有，爸爸，”汤姆说，“还没放学。我提前回来了。”
“你怎么会提前回来了？”爸爸问，“你对老师说什么了？”
“我告诉她我有了一个小弟弟，我得回家帮你。”
“但是你妈妈生了一对双胞胎，”爸爸说，“一个男孩，一个女孩。你有一个小弟弟和一个小妹妹。”
“是的，我知道，爸爸，”汤姆说，“我要等下个星期再说我有个小妹妹了。”
A Short Holiday
Alan worked in an office in the city. He worked very hard and really looked forward to his holidays.
He usually went to the seaside， but one year he saw an ad in a newspaper “Enjoy country life. Spend a few weeks at Willow Farm. Good food， fresh air， horse riding， walking， fishing. Reasonable prices .”
“ This sounds like a good idea.” he thought， “ I，ll spend a month at Willow Farm. I，ll enjoy horse riding， walking and fishing. They，ll make a change from sitting by the seaside. ”
Four days later he returned home.
“What，s wrong with Willow Farm ？” his friend asked him. “Didn，t you enjoy country life ？”
Country life was fine，“ Alan said.” But there was another problem.
“Oh， what？”
Well， the first day I was there a sheep died， and we had roast lamb for dinner.
“Fresh meat is the best.”
“I know， but on the second day a cow died， and we had roast beef for dinner. ”
“Lucky you！”
“You don，t understand，” Alan said.“ On the third day a pig died and we had roast pork for dinner.”
“ A different roast every day.” Jack exclaimed.
“Let me finish，” Alan said.“ On the fourth day the farmer died and I didn，t dare stay for dinner！” Notes：
(1) look forward to期待
(2) reasonable adj.合理的 短期假日
亚伦在一个城市的公司工作。他十分努力地工作，期望着休假。
以前休假，他经常去海边。但有一年，他看到报纸上有一则广告：“领略乡村生活。在唯利屋农场度假数周，可享受：美味佳肴、新鲜空气、骑马、散步、垂钓。价格合理。”
“这到是个好主意，”他想，“我要在唯利屋过上一个月，去享受骑马的乐趣，还要去散步、钓鱼。这肯定与坐在海边不同。”
四天后，他回来了。
“唯利屋发生什么事了？”他的朋友问他，“你不喜欢那里的乡村生活吗？”
“乡村生活是很好，”亚伦说，“但是有一个问题。”
“什么？”
“第一天，一只羊死了。我们的饭是烤羊肉。”
“新鲜肉最好。”
“我知道，但是第二天，一只牛死了。于是我们吃的是烤牛肉。”
“你真是幸运。”
“你不知道，”亚伦说，“第三天，一头猪死了。我们就吃烤猪肉。”
“每天吃不同的烧烤。”
“让我说完，”亚伦说，“第四天，农场主死了。我不敢呆在那里吃饭了。”
A Man Who Said No
A friend of mine noticed a man staggering about in the Times Square subway station. A welldressed Wall Street type， his coat was unbuttoned， a briefcase dangled from his hand and he，d obviously had one too many.
Asked if he was all right， the man gave a slurred but affirmative response. However， my friend simply could not see someone brave the rough maw of a New York subway without trying to help. He followed the chap， and again asked， “Are you sure you，re all right？ What subway are you looking for？ Do you need help getting home？”
At last， the object of his attentions snarled， in a low voice， “Leave me alone！ I，m an undercover cop！” Notes：
(1) stagger v.蹒跚；摇摆（因衰弱、负重、酒醉等）
(2) the Times Square （美国）时代广场
(3) subway n.地铁
(4) briefcase n.手提箱
(5) dangle v. 悬吊着或摇摆不定
(6) slurred adj.含糊不清的
(7) affirmative adj.肯定的
(8) brave the rough maw闯入是非之地
(9) maw n.动物的胃或咽喉，比喻随时会吞噬他物之物
(10) chap n.家伙
(11) snarl v.咆哮
(12) undercover adj.秘密的；暗中从事的
说不的男子
我的一位朋友看到一个男子在时代广场的地铁车站摇摇晃晃地走。那个人穿着时髦，敞着怀，一个手提箱在他的手里悬吊着，很明显他是多喝了一杯。
我朋友问他怎么样，那男子含糊而肯定地回答说没问题。然而我朋友就是不能眼看着有人在纽约地铁独入是非之地而置之不顾。他跟在那家伙的后面，又一次问道：“你肯定你没事？你在找哪个地铁站？你需要帮忙回家吗？”
他所注意的对象终于忍耐不住了，对他低声咆哮道：“你给我走开！我是便衣警察！” A Midshipman
One of my fellow midshipmen at the U. S. Naval Academy was performing poorly in class and reported to his company officer for counseling.， “Your marks are deplorable！” the officer scolded. “Is there a problem-that has kept you from studies？”
“No， sir，” the midshipman replied. “I have no idea what the problem is. I study the notes I take， and I，m never late to class. I don，t even talk in class， but for some reason my professors don，t seem to like me. ”
The officer sat back and thought. Then he asked， “Do you get enough sleep？”
My classmate replied， “Sir， do you mean at night or in class？ ”Notes：
(1) midshipman n.海军军官候补生
(2) the U.S.Naval Academy美国海军学院
(3) perform v.执行；履行
(4) company n.连（队）
(5) counsel v.建议；劝告
(6) deplorable adj.可悲的；可怜的
(7) scold v.指责；责备
海军军官候补生
我们在美国海军学院军官候补生中有一个同伴，他的学业很差。他到连队军官那儿寻求安慰。“你的成绩糟透了，”军官责备他说，“是否你的学习中存在什么问题？ ”
“没有哇，先生，”候补生回答说，“我搞不清楚是什么问题。我读我的笔记，上课从不迟到。甚至上课从不讲话，但不知怎么搞的，教授们好像都不喜欢我。”
军官向后一靠，想了想。然后问道：“你睡眠充足吗？”
我同学回答说：“先生，你说的是夜里还是课堂上？”
A Pleasant Surprise
A friend of mine had been wanting new kitchen cabinets for a long time， but her husband insisted they were an extravagance. She went to visit her mother for two weeks， and when she returned， she was overjoyed to find that beautiful new cabinets had been installed.
A few days later a neighbor came over to visit my friend. After admiring the new cabinets， the neighbor added， “All of us were so glad that the fire your husband had while you were gone was confined to the kitchen. ” Notes：
(1) cabinet n. 橱柜
(2) extravagance n.奢侈
(3) overjoyed adj.大为高兴的；极为开心的
(4) install v.安装
(5) be confined to限制；限于范围内
惊喜