Musical Ability
During a flood in California，a TV writer whose home was washed away discovered he had musical talent．“My wife held on to a bed and floated down the canyoncanyon.”he said to a friend．“How does that prove you have musical ability？”
“I accompaniedaccompany her on the piano.”
音乐天才
在加利福尼亚的一场洪水中，一个家被洪水冲走的电视节目撰稿人发现他自己有音乐天才。
“我的妻子抓住一张床，漂下了峡谷。”他对一个朋友说。
“那怎么能证明你有音乐才能呢？”
“我抓住钢琴，陪她一起漂下去了。”
I’ll Go There Myself
There was once a landlord who always pretended he was knowledgeableknowledgeable though he was completely unable to read or write.
One day when the landlord was chatting with his guests，a servant came in and gave him a letter which asked him to lend a cow.The landlord was afraid that his guests would know he was unable to read or write，so he opened the envelope and glanced over the words.Then he said to the servant，“OK，please tell him I’ll go there myself in a few minutes.”
我自己过去
从前，有一个地主是个既不会读也不会写的文盲，但他却偏要在人前装作很有学问。
一天，当地主正和宾客聊天的时候，仆人走进来递给他一封信，信上说向他借一头牛。地主害怕被客人知道自己是个文盲，于是他打开信封，瞧了瞧信上的字，然后对仆人说：“好的，你告诉他我等一下自己过去。”
Something That You Know
Rachman was a very famous pianist and composer of music．He liked to tell this story about himself．“When I was a very small boy I once played at a party at the home of a Russian nobleman．I was only eight years old．But I had been playing the piano for several years．I played well．The piece which I played was the ‘Kreutzer Sonata’by Beethoven．I played the piece very well．At least I thought so．”
“But the ‘Kreutzer Sonata’，as you know，has in it several very long rests．In each of these rests I took my hands from the piano and waited．“To me this was very dramatic．But it seems that the mother of the nobleman thought differently．“Finally，during one of these rests she came over to me．She touched me on the head kindly and said：‘My boy，why don’t you play us something that you know？’”
你熟悉的乐曲
拉赫马尼诺夫是一个非常著名的钢琴家和作曲家。他喜欢讲这一段关于他自己的故事：
“当我还是个小男孩的时候，有一次我在一个俄国贵族家举行的晚会上演奏。当时我年仅八岁，但是我弹钢琴已经有几个年头了。我弹得很好。我那天弹的曲子是贝多芬的《克莱采奏鸣曲》，这曲子我弹得很好。至少我是这么认为的。”
可是你也知道，《克莱采奏鸣曲》中间有几次长的停顿。每一次停顿我都把手从钢琴上放下来，等着。
对我来说，这是极有戏剧性的。但是那位贵族的母亲好像对此另有看法。
终于，在一次停顿中她走到我的跟前。她亲切地摸摸我的脑袋，说：“我的孩子，为什么不给我们弹一支你熟悉的乐曲呢？”
I Lost
It was at a five o’clock tea．A young man came to the hostess to apologize for his lateness．“So good of you to come，Mr．Jones，and where is your brother？”
“You see we’re very busy in the office and only one of us could come，so we tossed up for it．”
“How nice！And so originaloriginal，too！And you won？”
“No，”said the young man absently，“I lost．”
我输了
是五点钟喝茶的时候了，一个年轻人因为迟到来向女主人致歉。
“您能来可真好，琼斯先生，您的兄弟在哪儿呢？”
“您知道我们在办公室里有多忙，我们俩只能来一个，所以就掷币来决定由谁来。”
“太有趣了！还那么有独创性！那您赢了？”
“不，”年轻人心神不定地说，“我输了。”
He Fought with the Fork
Nasreddin had an old shed.It had no windows，so it was very dark，and it was full of old things.
One day Nasreddin went into this shed to get a ladder，but slipped on somethingand fell against a big fork.Th
e fork hit him on the head and knocked him down.Then it fell on top of him andhit him hard on the left leg.The ends of the fork then went into his long beard.He fought with the fork fiercelyfiercely，andat last threw it off him，jumped up andran out of the shed.He was very angry.
He had an old sword under his bed，and he now ran and got this.Then he ran backto the shed，opened the door suddenly and shouted in a terrible voice，“All right，come out and fight，you and all theother forks in the world！I‘m not afraidof you！”
他与叉子干仗
纳斯瑞丁有一间旧棚屋，里面没有窗户，黑洞洞的，屋里堆满了破旧东西。
一天，纳斯瑞丁走进棚屋，想取出一架梯子，可是不知踩到了什么东西，滑倒在一把大农叉上。农叉打着他的头，把他打倒在地，然后叉子倒在他身上，重重地敲打了他的左腿，叉柄缠住了他的长胡子。他与农叉激烈地战斗着，最后摆脱它跳了起来，跑出棚屋。纳斯瑞丁气急败坏。他有一把宝剑，放在床下。他跑去取了宝剑又跑回来，突然打开棚屋门，凶狠狠地怒吼：“来吧，出来吧！我们再打一仗，你和世界上的所有叉子统统来吧，老子才不怕呢！”
The Coolest Place
One summer it was very，very hot.Somebureaucrats were discussing official duties，but they couldn’t bear such hot weather.One bureaucratbureaucrat suggested that theyshould change their meeting place for acooler one.
Another one said at once，“It is nice and cool in the pavilion by the river.”
Another said，“It is cooler in the mainhall of the Buddhist temple.”
Some common people nearby heard their discussion，and said in chorus，“You lords want to be cool，we know the coolest place of all.”
“Where？”the bureaucrats asked hastily.
“The coolest place is right in your government hall.”the common people answered.
“There is neither hill nor river here.
Why is it the coolest place？”they askedsurprised.
“There is neither sky nor sun，and it‘svery gloomy.How can it not be the coolest place of all？”the common people answer cleverly.
最凉快的地方
有一年夏天非常炎热，几位官老爷在一起商议着公事。大家热得受不了，其中一位官老爷提出换一处凉快的地方。
有人说：“河边的亭子里很凉快。”
又有人说：“庙里的大殿上更凉快。”
旁边的老百姓听到他们的谈论后，齐声说：“大老爷们要想凉快，小民们知道最凉快的地方。”
官老爷们忙问：“在什么地方？”
百姓说：“老爷们的大堂里最凉快。”
众官惊问：“那地儿既无山又无水，怎么会最凉快呢？”