百姓巧妙地回答：“那里是不见天日的地方，阴森森的，怎么不凉快？”
The Joke
Sir William Thompson was very deaf but he did not like people to know this．One evening he had invited several friends to dinner，and while they were sitting at the table，one of the friends told a funny story．Everyone laughed，and Sir William，who had laughed as loud as anyone，said，“That is a very funny joke，but I know a funnier one．Would you like to hear it？”They all said they would，so Sir William began his story．When it ended，everyone laughed louder than ever and Sir William smiled happily．But he didn’t know the reason for their laughter．He had told the very same story that his friend had just told．
笑话
威廉·汤普森爵士非常聋，但他却不愿意让别人知道这件事，一天晚上，他邀请了几位朋友吃饭。在就餐的时候，一位朋友讲了个有趣的故事，大家都笑了，汤普森也和别人一样放声大笑，他说：“这是个十分有趣的笑话，但是我还知道一个更有趣的笑话，你们愿意听吗？”朋友们都说愿意听。于是，汤普森开始讲他的故事。当故事讲完时，大家笑得比方才还厉害，汤普森的脸上露出了欣慰的笑容。但他却不知道别人发笑的原因。原来，他讲的正是方才那位朋友讲的故事。
Nothing
The letter was written by a father to his daughter：
I’m using this time while I have nothing to do to let you know that I have nothing to say．People tend to look down at the word nothing and belittle its importance；however，it can make life or death，success or failure，joy or sadness．Mountain climbers have died when they step on it．Parachutistsparachutist are upset when they pull the ripcordripcord and it comes out．Farmers have lost their farms when they drew it．Ball players and coaches have lost their jobs when they scored it．Women have been whistled at when they wore it as a girdle or bra，and many women make a good living when they dance in it．It’s also reason for joy when it represents the sum total of your debts．It’s what you earn when you do it．I have saved it over the years and now have it in my bank account．It’s what you generally learn from a politician making a speech．It’s often discussed at meetings，and arguments and fights start over the subject．I often find it in my mailbox and only last night received it from the milk machine．I could go on but it will mean nothing，I just want you to be aware as you go through life that when you get some time tore lax you should think about this subject．Please do not think that I have been trying to give you sermon because I have nothing in mind．Don’t try to thank me．It’s nothing.
什么也没有
这是一位父亲写给女儿的信：
我利用这段空闲时间来让你知道我无话可说。
人们倾向于看轻“什么也没有”这个词，贬低它的重要性；可是它能导致生或死，成功或失败，快乐或悲伤。
登山运动员因脚下踏空而丧命。伞兵在拉开伞索时而伞却没有打开，就会狼狈不堪。农夫因打不出粮食而失去他们的农场。球员和教练因为输了球而丢掉饭碗。女人因不束腰带而招来嘘声，而许多女人一丝不挂地跳舞就过上了好日子。当你的债务总数达到零时，你也就快乐了。
如果你什么也不干，你就一分钱也挣不到。多年来我分文不攒，现在我的银行账户上就不名一文。
通常你从演说的政治家那儿什么也学不到。在会议上人们常常什么也不讨论，争论和斗争不知为什么就开始了。我常常发现我的邮箱是空的，而就在昨天晚上售奶机也空了。
我可以继续写下去，可是这没有意义。我只要你一生都能意识到当你有时间休闲娱乐的时候，你就应该想想这个话题。别以为我想教训你，因为我什么也没想。
别谢我，不客气。
Delicious！
A Hollywood producer was determined to give his mother a birthday gift that would be better than any his brothers were giving her．He heard about an amazing bird which could talk in twelve languages and sing ten famous operas．He immediately bought the bird and sent it to his mother．It cost him ＄50，000．The day after her birthday，he phoned his mother．“What did you think of the bird，Mother？”he asked eagerly．His mother replied，“Delicious！”
味道好极了！
一位好莱坞制片人决定送给他母亲一份生日礼物，那将比他的兄弟们送的任何礼物都要好。他听说有一只令人惊异的鸟能说十二种语言，能唱十种著名歌剧，便立即买下了这只鸟，寄给了他的母亲。这花了他五万美元。
他母亲生日的翌日，他打电话给她。“妈妈，您觉得那只鸟儿怎么样？”他急切地问。他母亲回答说：“味道好极了！”
Gallant Effort
At a dinner party a shy young man had been trying to think of something nice to say to his hostess.At last he saw his chance when she turned to him and remarked，“What a small appetite you have tonight，Mr.Jones.”
“To sit next to you，”he replied gallantlygallantly，“would cause any man to lose his appetite.”
殷勤
在一次晚餐聚会上，一位腼腆的年轻人一直在冥思苦想对女主人说一些好听的话。机会终于来了，女主人转向他说：“琼斯先生，您今晚的饭量太小了。”
“坐在您身边，”他殷勤地说道，“任何男人都会失去胃口的。”
Modern Life
Two old friends got together after many years and soon fell to discussing their husbands’faults.
“We’ve been married fifteen years，”one woman said，“and every night after dinner my husband always complains about the food.”
“How terrible！”exclaimed the other.“Does it bother you？”
“Why should it bother me？”her friend replied.“If he can’t only stand his own cooking？”
现代生活
两个老朋友分别多年之后又见面了，很快就开始谈起各自丈夫的缺点。
“我们结婚十五年了，”一个妇女说道，“每天晚饭后，我丈夫总要抱怨饭菜。”
“真可恶！”另一个惊呼道。“难道你不烦吗？”
“我烦什么？”她的朋友答道。“他不过是忍受不了自己的烹调技术。”
Where Is the Father
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
“Look，”said the elder brother，“how nice these paintings are！”
“Yes，”said the younger，“but in all these paintings there is onlythe mother and the children.Where is the father？”
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained，“Obviously he was painting the pictures.”
父亲在哪儿
兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”
“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。
那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”
哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”