“‘I’ll do the talking for you，’the president said.He did.He exhibited my samples and praised their good points.A lively discussion arose about the merits of my goods.And the president，since he was talking for me，took the position I would have had during the discussion My sole participation consisted of smiles，nods and a few gestures.
“As a result of this unique conference，I was awarded the contract，which called for over half a million yards of upholstery fabrics at an aggregate value of？1，600，000—the biggest order I had ever received.
“I know I would have lost the contract if I hadn’t lost my voice，because I had the wrong idea about the whole proposition.I discovered，quite by accident，how richly it sometimes pays to let the other person do the talking.”
Even our friends would much rather talk to us about their achievements than listen to us boast about ours.La Rochefoucauld，the French philosopher，said：“If you want enemies，excel your friends；but if you want friends，let your friends excel you.”
Why is that true？Because when our friends excel us，they feel important；but when we excel them，they—or at least some of them—will feel inferior and envious.
PRINCIPLE 6：
Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
Chapter 16
How to Get Cooperation
Don’t you have much more faith in ideas that you discover for yourself than in ideas that are handed to you on a silver platter？If so，isn’t it bad judgment to try to ram your opinions down the throats of other people？Isn’t it wiser to make suggestions—and let the other person think out the conclusion？
Adolph Seltz of Philadelphia，sales manager in an automobile showroom and a student in one of my courses，suddenly found himself confronted with the necessity of injecting enthusiasm into a discouraged and disorganized group of automobile salespeople.Calling a sales meeting，he urged his people to tell him exactly what they expected from him.As they talked，he wrote their ideas on the blackboard.He then said：“I’ll give you all these qualities you expect from me.Now I want you to tell me what I have a right to expect from you.”The replies came quick and fast：loyalty，honesty，initiative，optimism，teamwork，eight hours a day of enthusiastic work，The meeting ended with a new courage，a new inspiration—one salesperson volunteered to work fourteen hours a day—and Mr.Seltz reported to me that the increase of sales was phenomenal.
“The people had made a sort of moral bargain with me，”said Mr.Seltz，“and as long as I lived up to my part in it，they were determined to live up to theirs.Consulting them about their wishes and desires was just the shot in the arm they needed.”
No one likes to feel that he or she is being sold some-thing or told to do a thing.We much prefer to feel that we are buyingof our own accord or acting on our own ideas.We like to be consulted about our wishes，our wants，our thoughts.
Take the case of Eugene Wesson.He lost countless thousands of dollars in commissions before he learned this truth.Mr.Wesson sold sketches for a studio that created designs for stylists and textile manufacturers.Mr.Wesson had called on one of the leading stylists in New York once a week，every week for three years.“He never refused to see me，”said Mr.Wesson，“but he never bought.He always looked over my sketches very carefully and then said：‘No，Wesson，I guess we don’t get together today.’”After 150failures，Wesson realized he must be in a mental rut，so he resolved to devote one evening a week to the study of influencing human behavior，to help him develop new ideas andgenerate new enthusiasm.
He decided on this new approach.With half a dozen unfinished artists’sketches under his arm，he rushed over to the buyer’s office.“I want you to do me a little favor，if you will，”he said.“Here are some uncompleted sketches.Won’t you please tell me how we could finish them up in such a way that you could use them？”
The buyer looked at the sketches for a while without uttering a word.Finally he said：“Leave these with me for a few days，Wesson，and then come back and see me.”
Wesson returned three davs later，got his suggestions，took the sketches back to the studio and had them finished according to the buyer’s ideas.The result？All accepted.
After that，this buyer ordered scores of other sketches from Wesson，all drawn according to the buyer’s ideas.“I realized why I had failed for years to sell him，”said Mr.Wesson.“I had urged him to buy what I thought he ought to have.Then I changed my approach completely.I urged him to give me his ideas.This made him feel that he was creating the designs.And he was.I didn’t have to sell him.He bought.”
The Completed Success Plan of Dale Carnegie
This same psychology was used by an X-ray manufacturer to sell his equipment to one of the largest hospitals in Brooklyn.This hospital was building an addition and preparing to equip it with the finest X-ray department in America.Dr.L—，who was in charge of the X-ray department，was overwhelmed with sales representatives，each caroling the praises of his own company’s equipment.
One manufacturer，however，was more skillful.He knew far more about handling human nature than the others did.He wrote a letter something like this：
Our factory has recently completed a new line of X-ray equipment.The first shipment of these machines has just arrived at our office.They are not perfect.We know that，and we want to improve them.So we should be deeply obligated to you if you could find time to look them over and give us your ideas about how they can be made more serviceable to your profession.Knowing how occupied you are，I shall be glad to send my car for you at any hour you specify.