“The next day in walking around Floresville we see on a hill a big red brick building that appears to be disinhabited. The citizens speak up and tell us that it was begun for a residence several years before by a mine owner. After running up the house he finds he only had 2.80 left to furnish it with， so he invests that in whiskey and jumps off the roof on a spot where he now requiescatsrequiescat n.愿死者灵魂安息的祈祷 in pieces.
“第二天，我们在百花村溜达的时候，看见小山上有王宫红砖砌的大房子，好像没有住人。居民告诉我们，几年前那是一个矿主的住宅。等到新屋落成，矿主发觉只剩下两块八毛钱来装修内部，伤心之余，便把那点钱买了威士忌，然后从屋顶上跳了下来。他的残肢遗骸就安葬在跳下来的地方。”
“As soon as me and Andy saw that building the same idea struck both of us. We would fix it up with lights and pen wipers and professors， and put an iron dog and statues of Hercules and Father John on the lawn， and start one of the finest free educational institutions in the world right there.
“我和安迪一见到那座房子，就都有了同样的念头。我们可以安上电灯，来办一些擦笔布，聘请几位教授，再在草地上立一只铸铁狗以及赫拉克勒斯和约翰教父的塑像就在那里开办一所世界上最好的免费教育机构。
“So we talks it over to the prominent citizens of Floresville， who falls in fine with the idea. They give a banquetbanquet n.宴会 in the engine house to us， and we make our bow for the first time as benefactorsbenefactor n.恩人， 捐助者， 赠送者， 赞助人 to the cause of progress and enlightenment. Andy makes an hourandahalf speech on the subject of irrigation in Lower Egypt， and we have a moral tune on the phonographphonograph n.留声机， 电唱机 vi.灌入留声机 and pineapplepineapple n.凤梨， 菠萝 sherbert.
“我们同百花村的一些知名人士商谈，他们极表赞成。他们在消防队为我们举行了一个宴会；我们破题儿第一道以文明和进步事业的施主的姿态出现。安迪就下埃及的灌溉问题作了一个半小时的演讲，宴会上的留声机和菠萝汁都染上了我们的道德气息。
“Andy and me didnt lose any time in philanthropping. We put every man in town that could tell a hammer from a step ladder to work on the building， dividing it up into class rooms and lecture halls. We wire to Frisco for a car load of desks， footballs， arithmeticsarithmetic n.算术， 算法， penholderspenholder n.笔插， 笔架， dictionaries， chairs for the professors， slates， skeletons， sponges， twentyseven cravenetted gowns and caps for the senior class， and an open order for all the truck that goes with a firstclass university. I took it on myself to put a campus and a curriculumcurriculum n.课程 on the list， but the telegraph operator must have got the words wrong， being an ignorant man， for when the goods come we found a can of peas and a currycomb among em.
“安迪和我立即着手办这件慈善事业。镇上的人，凡是能够辨别锤子和梯子的。都被我们请来担任修葺房屋的工作，把它隔成许多教室和演讲厅。我们打电报给旧金山订购了一车皮的书桌、足球、算术书、钢笔杆、字典、教授座、石板、人体骨骼模型、海绵、二十七套四年级学生穿的防雨布学士服和学士帽等等，另外还开了一张不列品名的订单，凡是第一流大学所需要的零星杂物一概都要。我自作主张在订货单上添了‘校园’和‘课程设置’两项，但是不学无术的电报员一定搞错了，因为货物运到的时候，我们在其中找到了一听青豆和一把马机。
“While the weekly papers was having chalkplate cuts of me and Andy we wired an employment agency in Chicago to express us f.o.b.， six professors immediately—one English literature， one uptodate dead languages， one chemistry， one political economydemocratdemocrat n.民主党人 preferred one logic， and one wise to painting， Italian and music， with union card. The Esperanza bank guaranteedguarantee n.保证， 保证书， 担保， 抵押品 vt.保证， 担保 salaries， which was to run between 800 and 800.50.
“当那些周报刊出我和安迪的铜版照片时，我们又打电报给芝加哥的一家职业介绍所，吩咐他们立即装运六名教授，车上交货——英国文学一名，现代废弃语言学一名，化学一名，政治经济学一名（最好是民主党党员），逻辑学一名，还要一名懂绘画、意大利语和音乐，并有工会证的人。由希望银行担保发薪，薪额从八百元起到八百零五毛为止。
“Well， sir， we finally got in shape. Over the front door was carved the words， ‘The Worlds University， Peters & Tucker， Patrons and Proprietors’. And when September the first got a crossmark on the calendarcalendar n.日历， 历法， the comeons begun to roll in. First the faculty got off the triweekly express from Tucson. They was mostly young， spectacled， and redheaded， with sentiments divided between ambitionambition n.野心， 雄心 and food. Andy and me got em billeted on the Floresvillians and then laid for the students.
“好啦，我们终于布置就绪了。大门上刻了如下的字样：‘世界大学——赞助人与业主：彼得斯及塔克’。日历上的九月一日被划去之后，来者源源不绝。第一批是从塔克森搭了每周三班的快车来到的教授们。他们多半年纪轻轻，戴着眼镜，一头红发，带着一半为了前途，一半为了混饭吃的心情。安迪和我把他们安置在百花村的居民家里住下，然后等学生们来报到。
“They came in bunches. We had advertised the University in all the state papers， and it did us good to see how quick the country responded. Two hundred and nineteen husky lads aging along from 18 up to chin whiskers answered the clarion call of free education. They ripped open that town， sponged the seams， turned it， lined it with new mohairmohair n.马海毛， 安哥拉山羊毛， 马海毛织物 adj.马海毛制的， and you couldnt have told it from Harvard or Goldfields at the March term of court.
“他们一群群地来了。我们先前在各州的报纸上刊登了招生广告。现在看到各方面的反应如此迅速，觉得非常高兴。响应免费教育号召的，一共有二百一十九个精壮的家伙，年纪最轻的十八岁，最大的长满了络腮胡子。他们把那个小镇搞得乌烟瘴气，面目全非，你简直分不清它是哈佛呢，还是三月开庭的戈德菲尔兹年。
“They marched up and down the streets waving flags with the Worlds University colors—ultramarine and blue—and they certainly made a lively place of Floresville. Andy made them a speech from the balcony of the Skyview Hotel， and the whole town was out celebrating.
“他们在街上来来往往，挥舞着世界大学的校旗——深蓝和浅蓝两色——别的不谈，他们确实把百花村搞成了一个热热闹闹的地方。安迪在天景旅馆的阳台上向他们演说了一番，全镇的居民万人空巷，都上街庆祝。
“In about two weeks the professors got the students disarmeddisarm vt.解除武装， 回复平常的编制， 缓和， 消除(敌意，疑虑) vi.放下武器 and herded into classes. I dont believe theres any pleasure equal to being a philanthropist. Me and Andy bought high silk hats and pretended to dodge the two reporters of the Floresville Gazette. The paper had a man to kodak us whenever we appeared on the street， and ran our pictures every week over the column headed ‘Educational Notes’. Andy lectured twice a week at the University， and afterward I would rise and tell a humorous story. Once the Gazette printed my pictures with Abe Lincoln on one side and Marshall P. Wilder on the other.
“约摸过了两星期，教授们把那帮学生解除了武装，赶进课堂。我真不信还有比做慈善事业更愉快的事情。我和安迪买了高筒大礼帽，假装闪进着百花村公报的两个记者。那家报馆还派了专人，等我们一上街就摄影，每星期在‘教育新闻’栏里刊登我们的照片。安迪每星期在大学里演讲两次；等他说完，我就站起来讲一个笑话。有一次，公报居然把我的照片登在亚伯·林肯和马歇尔·皮·怀尔德之间。
“Andy was as interested in philanthropy as I was. We used to wake up of nights and tell each other new ideas for booming the University.
“安迪对慈善事业的兴趣之大不亚于我。为了使大学兴旺发达，我们每每在夜里醒来，交换新的想法。
“‘Andy，’ says I to him one day， ‘theres something we overlooked. The boys ought to have dromedaries.’
“‘安迪，’有一次我对他说，‘我们忽略了一件事。孩子们该有舒适民’
“‘Whats that？’ Andy asks.
“‘那是什么呀？’安迪问道。
“‘Why， something to sleep in， of course.’ says I. ‘All colleges have em.’
“‘呃，当然是可以在里面睡觉的东西。’我说。‘各个学校都有的。’
“‘Oh， you mean pajamaspajamas n.睡衣， 宽长裤，’ says Andy.